it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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