I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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