party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
