Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
