Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize