But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
