When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
