her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
