Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
