apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
