yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
