Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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