Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
