Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
