sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
