I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
