You work out of a Hotel?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
