ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I want to make a zoo with you.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize