Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It was confusing and full of hummus
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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