"it" just moved
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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