the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I love having hate sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
