Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
