omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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