when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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