absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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