Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
