Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You did what with his pubic hair?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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