Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize