Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
