Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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