There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
