it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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