The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
