I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
