I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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