the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
