I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
