I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
