Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
