At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize