Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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