what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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