This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
