I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
