I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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