Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
