i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize