i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
