pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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