I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
