No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
