I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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