just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
