Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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