I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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