is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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