That's intense
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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