You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
