There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Holy sore nipples Batman
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
