What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
