Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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