quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize