haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
