Dual....:-)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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