My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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