I want to have your abortion
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I've blown a few things in my day
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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