So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
