it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
