I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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