Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
