it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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