This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
