Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
