you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize