Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
