you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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